Santa Claus is coming to town! BIG DEAL! At least that’s what the Tooth Fairies are saying. I have it on good authority that they are fed up with Santa and his elves showing off, getting credit for all the toy making, stocking stuffing and laying claim for the joy in the Holiday Season.
YEH, WHATEVER! The Tooth Fairies work harder and more days a year than Santa or his elves that’s for sure. There’s trouble brewing at the tooth fairy factory say my spies.
My sources claim the fairies want to know why Santa and his elves have songs written about them, why are they in the movies or have shows on T.V.? Why do they get to steal all the thunder?
All the Tooth Fairies get is a stupid movie with Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson playing the role of a Tooth Fairy! Really? Dwayne Johnson? Tooth Fairy? Okay, Okay, I can see how that might get them a little upset.
Just like Santa is the CEO and his elves are helpers, there’s a head honcho Tooth Fairy and many assistant Tooth Fairies. The lead Tooth Fairy and her designated Business Associates are working on finding a new marketing director; one who can eventually secure them their own holiday, just like St. Nick.
You should hear some of their grievances: Santa deals in toys, we deal in teeth. Santa gets rid of inventory, we gotta rent storage. Santa gets to ride in a sleigh; we have to crawl under a pillow.
Poor Little Tooth Fairies….. They also shared a secret with me about what happens when a child leaves his tooth under the pillow and in the morning the tooth is still there and no money or gift from the Tooth Fairy is left behind.
They actually did leave money or a present, but Santa has an elite group of Ninja elves who slither in after the Tooth Fairy, grab the loot; leave the tooth and slink back into the shadows.
Santa has been aware of the Tooth Fairies secret meetings and their plans to take over as the children’s favorite; so he’s secretly been sabotaging their efforts for decades. He knows no one would ever believe sweet little elves would be breaking and entering into homes pilfering tons of cash and gifts. They’re too sweet and innocent.
Think about it! The cash for all those toys and reindeer food has to come from somewhere. Ever had one of your kids toys just disappear? Never to be found again? Ninja ELVES!!!!!! That helps them with their last minute Christmas toy rush.
But how damaging to the Tooth Fairy community when the word is spread that the Tooth Fairies don’t come on time or forget to leave you your gift. It’s Santa Sabotage, I tell ya.
So, let’s remember this Holiday Season when Santa and his elves are basking in their accolades and glory: it’s the hard working, hard flying, teeth gathering little Tooth Fairies that bring joy EVERY day of EVERY year to some little boy or girl.
ROCK ON TOOTH FAIRIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Paul L. Caputo, DDS3490 E Lake Rd S Suite A